Depression/Suicide

Before Nathan died, I really didn’t know anyone who had been touched by suicide. Now I know hundreds. Every twelve minutes in our country, someone dies by suicide–most from untreated depression. The tragedy begins with the lack of understanding of the illnesses that lead to suicide. 

When people are diagnosed with cancer, they use their brain to learn about the illness and use reason and logic to make choices of treatments and to share their feelings about the condition. They work hard to get better. Sometimes they conquer the cancer and other times they lose their battle. No one judges or blames them for having cancer. 

When someone has depression or another mental illness that is caused from sickness in the brain, they work hard to get better, visit doctors, try treatments. Sometimes they conquer the disease and other times they lose their battle. People might ask, “why didn’t he tell us?” You see, the very organ (brain) that we use to reason, logically seek treatments and express our feelings, is what is sick. Depression robs a person of his past, happy memories and all hope for the future. I now understand the adage, “perception is reality.” So much of Nathan’s perception was not accurate–but to him, it was reality and he saw no hope for the pain to end. His illness made him unable to perceive things accurately.The beliefs and joys he had previously known and his love for the Lord, all became confused in the midst of deep mental pain. A person with a normal healthy functioning brain does not end his own life. 

When a person dies by suicide, they truly believe it is the best, if not only, option for them to stop the deep pain they can no longer endure. It is heart-wrenching to know that most people who die, truly believed their family would be better off without them. The brain is ill. 

The human brain is incredibly complex. If you want to understand more about how it works and the connection to depression, here is a recent article from “Harvard Health Publications” that gives some good explanations. Treating depression is not as simple as giving insulin to a person with diabetes. Finding the right medication to create the right balance of chemicals and reactions in the brain is difficult and takes time. Tragically, the stigma associated with mental illness in our society keeps many people from getting the help they need.

That being said, if you are experiencing depression, please try to tell someone. Don’t trust your emotions and feelings right now, but tell yourself that things can change because it is true. Your situation can change. There is help for the pain you are experiencing.  If you are thinking of ending your life, please don’t. Please let someone help you stop the pain another way. You are valuable to everyone your life touches–that is so many more people than you imagine right now. Your life matters. If you need someone to talk to, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. 

If you are not depressed but suspect someone you love is depressed, don’t be afraid to ask them about their pain. Don’t be afraid to ask if they are considering suicide. People all around you are hurting from depression, anxiety, or other illnesses and don’t believe they can talk to anyone about their pain. Please help eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness. Just like diabetes and heart disease, illness in the brain needs to be openly discussed so people can seek treatment and healing.

I hope that the 25 years Nathan lived, loved everyone around him, and touched people’s lives, will not be forgotten because he lost his last battle with depression. He won many, many battles before that one. I hope others will remember the kind, compassionate, loving person he was, his gentle spirit and desire to help others. His life made an indelible mark on mine and so many others.

I recently read some words that resonated with me about another person who lost their battle. 

“We shall remember not his last day of defeat, but we shall 
remember the many days that he was victorious over overwhelming odds.
We shall remember not the years we thought he had left,
but the intensity with which he lived the years that he had.
Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the 
silent skirmishes that took place in his soul.
But our consolation is that God does know, and understands.”